Beach Days

When i am with you, im reminded of how i love to live. Laughter and inside jokes, happiness. That's all i feel. I realized how happy i can be, just because of you. So thank you. For everything. Yes, you, right there. Thank you for the good times, and even when the bad emotions and thoughts rear their ugly faces, thank you for being there. To guide me through, to help me learn and live. Thank you for the movies, and the phone calls, texts, and overwhelming sense of being there, no matter what. For you are the ones who made me strong. And able to live. You let me survive even when i didnt think i could. Even when the world came crumbling down, you stood by, like a wall, and shielded me, not even knowing that you did. And i will always remember you, your impact on my life, because you are my friend. My best friend.

Make a wish

You betrayed me. Took my heart and tore it apart inside. And the worst part is you dont even know you're doing it. Wordless messages run through these emotions as you look at me...talk to me...or dont. I'm giving up on you, again. Only to come back. Inescapable. Like a dog chasing its tail. I try to let go and leave, give up and begin again, only to find that's impossible. Because you are part of me now. No matter what I do, you will remind me.

Just for the uniformed MEN.....zorsi.

Noelle. This secret, double agent zorse can often be found roaming the morgues with her friend bethany, chatting up the sarcastic dead folk. Her skills include tribal dancing, spontanously turning into potatoes, and the rare ability to relate anything to harry potter. She loves the omlettes from the magnolia cafe, and thinks they all deserve to die (tell you why). Her problems include killing people and eating hands...that's two things. She likes to watch old conducters' hair flop while singing opera, but hates ladies who hate sopranos. Oh and also, voldemort killed her parents with spiders. click click.

Susanna. This other zorse (though not double agent) can often be found on stage singing spontaneous showtunes to her beloved cheese entrepenure and ucef. She also loves to tribal dance and burn pictures of hated you-may-know-whos, and smash cds with hammers. She is enraptured by cheese sellers and all forms of singing, and loves latte boys. Her body is often violated by random hooligans, and is very juicy. She is quite energetic and did i mention she loves musicals? especially ones no one has ever heard of. She tries, which is nessicary.

Kerchuan. This POPULAR girl also enjoys omlettes from the magnolia cafe and finds telephones hilarious. She thought it was a snake when it started moving. And loves to barter with chinese street venders. She is enamored with apples to apples, and quit choir...because shes lame and only likes one harry potter movie, which is sad, but we love her anyways. She loves to watch drunk squirrls and scary stories. 'nuff said.

Bethany is an undercover noelle who can often be found in morgues with her doppleganger. Her uniformed men are all dead and extremely sarcastic teens. She loves sopranos but is now and alto, come to the light side with her mischevious body. Her ex bf is stupid, but i cant remember why (there IS a good reason) i guess hes just not even worth remembering. Hes the voldemort to my harry potter. She would make a great aladin, and didnt even start over 3 times.

Akilah loves a man in uniform. She is a non-believer in both the dead and zorsi, but her body is not bold for she perfers salsa dancing. She hates scary stories, but can't leave the room or she will be the first to die. Her stories however are quite scandilatious and amazing oh and did i mention loooong? She likes harry potter and her cousin is mmmmm. all in all quite fresh.

Yep. I went there.

Soooo this blog has a lot of unhappy posts right now. Breakups- they do that. i think imma write something happy. Im not sure what yet but if i just ramble i guess something will happen. Have you ever noticed how happy the smallest things in life are? i mean, i know it's cliche and all but its really great sometimes. How it all falls into place. New friends come into your life, right as old ones leave. Just when something bad happens, something good comes and sweeps the bad into balance. Nothing ever catastrophically affects life, it only changes it. Imperceptibaly. Always balance. It's like those weird rock gardens you see all over asia (or i guess you WOULD see if you went there), and you just sit and become "zen". Everything balances out. When bad things happen, good comes, when good things happen, bad comes. It's just how life is. Thats why we need to appreciate the little things. Because those are the balances of life. :)

Eating Daisys

Each time i begin to forget the memories come up again. Their ice cold grip falls and shatters the delicate happiness begun to take place. These memories brake the smiling facade and reveal the pain. So old, so real, so familiar. I've grown accustomed to it now. A comfort more then a burnden, the sadness, for every gentle smile is fragile. Just waiting for reality to strike. To say, i fooled you. To wake me up frome this happy waiting until i remember that it doesnt exist. Not for me, not really. and once it does i feel relieved, at least now im not waiting for the next bad to strike...

If you're happy but don't know it....

Why is it that all of us humans seem to want what we cant have and once we get it, we dont want it? its like when we first see something and we immediately see it as perfect. Able to solve all our problems. But then, those little imperfections seem to seep through the cracks and rear their ugly faces, and no matter how much you dont want to admit it, you're left wishing you had never even seen that thing in the first place. So why are we all like that? We just assume, imagine, wish that something is better then it is. And then, when it isn't we become dissapointed. Like puppies who've just been given a new toy, only to find it broken two days later. I vote we give up these preconceptions on how we want our world to be (as hypocrytical as that sounds). If it were just exactly as we wanted it, it would be no fun. So why can't we just look at people, notice their flaws, and accept them, choosing to focus on their good? ya, that would be nice. Too bad thats not how it works....

Music fills my heart. It drowns out everything. All i could feel would be joy. Or maybe not. but if not, the music would drown it out. Sometimes i wish we could just go away. Far far away, where all those fairytales of childhood exist. Where we would only talk to those who we wanted, when we wanted. Without having to worry about anything. And there would be music. There's always music. This disney-dream come alive, i wish it could be real. For nothing would be more wonderful then this.