Watermelon

I had never been afraid of death. In fact, at times I welcomed him with open arms. With dried tears and choked sobs I have spent years of my life begging his presence and with him the present of ending my present state of mind. Until I fell in love with you. 

Now each night I fall asleep terrified that the prayers I once whispered upon ears I felt were deaf will finally be realized because my prayer for you took years to be fulfilled as well, but fulfilled they surely were. Now those prayers have been listened to, and I know those ears that do the listening are not deaf but simply slow, patient. When eternity is your lifespan, years must seem like a single day. So I fear that since you were my first wish and death was my next, now that you have come, so shall it. 

But since you are here for the moment, let me tell you. I love you. I love you the way I love looking in a mirror and the way I love my parents when we laugh together. I love you the way I love lazy jazz on a Sunday morning and baking and curling up alone with a good book and a stuffed animal. I love you the way I love my cat. 

I know I love you because I'm scared. Too many times I have loved with the fear of being left alone. Too many times I have questioned the honesty behind a lovers eyes and found myself afraid of them....afraid of me.But for the first time, my fear is not of your judgement, or that you will leave or find me unworthy because I have seen the honesty behind your eyes and heard the truth behind your words and I know you love me too. This time, instead the only fear that leaves me praying is this: I had never been afraid of death. Until I fell in love with you.