I want to fall in love. not the kind of cliched fairytale "forever". No, i dont want no movie romance. I want something real. For once, i want to be in love with someone. I dont want them to have to be in love with me first. I want to fall. Head-over-heels, into happiness and heartache. Laughter, and joy. And pure, teenage, sweet-as-butterscotch, burns-quick-as-a cigarette bliss. Thats what i want.
The hugs and laughs and memories, drape around me like a blanket of snow. Cold and frozen but beautiful just the same. We still share the same laughter and touch and hope. Hushed insecurities in the middle of the night. But do you know now? that every time you get a new "her". Everytime you tell me about your games of love and hate i ache inside. Slowly dying under your poisined haze. I try to pull away myself from these distant memories, this crushing friendship. But i can't. Like gravity you bring me back, your invisible claws like chains around me, unknown to you but there to me. I love you. I always have, but such words are never meant to be realized aloud. Wispered reassurances of things that may never come. So i guess ill wait. Till 11 11 everyday. And then ill wish for you...
