What is Family

The stereotypical American Image rests atop a fireplace, adorned with third-world praise. A mother and father and two children smile back through restless, time-worn eyes. But in the end a family like that is just a shell. A frail and humble ode to true kinship. Family doesn't come from the pages of a magazine advertising suburbian bliss. It comes from the heart. A people brought together by common similarity with the insane notion and belief that they should stay together-no matter what. This sense of bonding is what creates a family. Time spent arguing and laughing, and hating each other only to come back when times turn tough. No matter what the image, a house is just a house until a family creates a home.

Sweater Weather

I need you. I know i dont say it often enough. The silence sits drooping waiting as our breath hovers and the words fall and die. But it cant wait any longer. I cannot keep the pulsing desire from myself. I know it may be "clingy". That devils word that freezes blood and blushes cheeks, but i cant help it. I need you. again and again the words push up, but im careful. i know you may not want to be my friend, may not even consider me a friend, but im holding desperately onto this fleeting chance at companionship. even if it only lasts a while, there's a reason youre in my life, and a reason im in yours- and i need you.

Pocketful of Secrets

How do you do it? with one gesture you collapse my world. This make-believe raft of ignorant bliss. Every time, I find this gift, this golden crack of happiness, it crumbles in on itself. The days go by and the happiness builds, creating a mountain, so easily split. One word, one glance, one notion and its gone. Sunken in by the weight of these years of self-loathing and doubt. It takes one person to tear down this village, their mouthful of diamonds cover their secrets. Yet, who could blame them? How can I ever expect to be loved, if I hate my self? There's nothing I can see sometimes. Not one thing that's redeemable. Honestly, if I were them, I'd hate me too. So i cant blame them for that hurt or pain, but it seems unbearable all the same. It comes in when i least expect and falls away as the earth becomes whole again.

Singing Words and Winnie the Pooh

I've dug a hole i can't escape, like a bird in a cage im breaking my wings. The weight of the loneliness cries out unheard- a mute in a world of colorful words. My heart keeps breaking as this new reality sinks in. But in truth, it's not new. I've known my whole life how alone i really am, but to see it, to realize is just as powerful as to live it. I'll turn my back again, wish to be blind and ignorant as i once was. Is it truly impossible to erase a vision that burns in the back of your mind

Eating twice to get half

What is it about life that keeps us so interested. I mean really. It seems like there's always something in our lives that stresses us out. Something that's going wrong that we have to fix that consumes us until it's done. But then, after its done, and we have nothing left to do, we go crazy looking for something else thats broken. Something else for us to work on just to give us a purpose. A purpose to keep on living. We claim that people clutter our lives and annoy us and that we want peace and quiet but even when we reach that state we keep wanting more. This human condition jeopardizes our sanity each and every day in a consumer-driven market that pushes comfort and impulse and happiness and perfection. Years and years ago life was so simple. you got up, did chores, made food, went to bed. Repeat. But in this world where all those simplicities have been taken away and replaced with machines we find the need for other activities to fill our time. Other worries and adventures creep into this empty space- meant to be filled with relaxation. Maybe people never truly can relax. Maybe thats our problem. We have these minds and a never-ending need to fill them.

That New-Skirt Smell

Did you know when it began? That it would escalate? There's never a way of knowing but that yearning curiosity killed the cat and now i'm purring out of hope that i'll come back. That soft touch and gentle nudge. I gave you plenty of chances to leave that you never took, just reach out your hand and stay...or go. But this purgatory of budding romance leaves me breathless waiting in the torture. You had her. The whole time. But you came sidling up to me to try and tame the bull between the horns. Well. Are you happy now? You've tamed her. But now you've left me. Bloody and torn alone and waiting as you jump back into her. You made me fall but couldn't catch. The embarrassment was worst. As i fell i knew and still i jumped hoping for a safety net. I guess i was wrong but you never know. It's a good thing this bull is stronger then the rest. Because i'll be fine. but then again. it IS the honest you need to worry most about.

A crossing flag and nutella croissant

What is it about that emptiness? The one that pulls you back at midnight. The witching hour that steals away your heart and puts a curse on it betraying your true sense of self. This crushing weight that pulls me down is suffocating and convulsive. The happiness that comes into existence with the short flare of real life and love becomes overshadowed by the devouring loneliness that eclipses everything as soon as the light goes out. The ending of this paradoxical life has left me empty. Sure the beauty and laughter and friendship was great but you know what they say- the higher the climb the harder the fall. Guess i'll go home for a while and wait out the tide till the storm crosses over.

New "Fly" Craze

Eyes like sugar soft and sweet. Butterflies returning from their long retreat. The beginning of this feeling, this rush of wonder sewn up inside like a treat. Its just another I know. But this time ive grown. This time ill know. Running and staying. A teeter-totter balance. But if you dont return its just one more defeat.

Marking Balls

This slip of injustice mixes with the beauty and the brow-beat and broken. The noises of the taken purify those left behind. Eloquent words written with a touch of poison thicken the sin and the words as they fall off the page and become left behind. Feelings and emotions swirl. Stuck in a room with no way out but a broken glass window and a door past the ghosts. Those ghosts of the past forever stinging no way out but up and over. Do you have the energy to make it the hope to strengthen. Or will it slide on by.

Hazy Days Wait for Noone

Lately, ive felt empty, alone. Like that moment at the end of a movie where everything goes silent, right before you start to breathe. This shimmering facade of waking up and feeling as if something special has been whisked away right beneath your feet. But, while something else has come to take its place, and you sat there watching it unfold the entire time, you still feel missing. Like the air has been knocked out of you, like a shell has taken your place. I know that it can't last forever, and this sliver of hope keeps me dangling on for dear life, but i know if i make the wrong move i may fall into this endless abyss of nothing...

Getting your arm pet in the rain

The bitter-sweet taste slides past my lips as i take my first tingling bite. Soft and moist. There's this feeling in the air that hovers slightly while the crumbs fall silently away like getting a hug from the one person in this world who can drive those everlasting fears away. Those demons who threaten to cave in on us, who force us to run and hide like small children. Only sometimes, "Mom" isn't there to protect us, but its all right, because you know, you're not alone.

Purple letters on a Grey Sweatshirt Day

Wistful sighs fill the faded room as memories shimmer past on the breath of hope. Can you see the heartbreak? Can you hear the broken beats? As my eyes pass to you and i slide away the illusion will you laugh and leave or maybe will you hold on if only because its what we both need. Someone to tie us down to reality and lift us up from the danger of this fast taking life.

Cold Walks and Warm Cars

We try so hard to hold on to who we were, who we used to be. These changing pasts slipping away and falling into the air. The broken innocence of our remembered lives hover about and torment us like ghosts. I want to stop this time. Go back to who i was. When love was real and hope was gleaming. When I was ME and nothing could tear that up. But ive lost that beauty that used to reside. Like a bird leaves its nest my soul fell away. And all i am now is an empty cave. Wont you come and hold together these pieces of what i have left? Will you not stay just a bit longer then the others who all left? but thats not who you are and not how i could be...i can see it in your eyes.

Trusting Faces Broken Hearts

Sometimes it all gets so mixed up. The dancing images and words of everything colliding into each other like watercolor on a page. Churning and swirling into this jumbled mess. I don't think i know any more. I dont think i could tell you who i am if i tried. This world has changed me. Rusted me and torn apart the pages to a book thats only half-written. Ive been pushed and pulled and kicked around and ive hoped to just be home. Im tired now, and war-torn. The dust that used to float around has settled down and wont come out with just a tidy wash. Tide wont clean these blood-stains from my tired feet. And everything i once was has drifted just a bit farther down that disappearing shoreline. Maybe ill just turn around and go home for a while...

Cute obsession bruh

Here they come again. Those haunting lingering butterflies, just like old friends. I'm throwing up nonsense in an attempt to make you see me. To make you love me. But I know it won't work it never does. Rays of hope slip into my heart but reality crashes them and drownes them like a wave. I wish I could say this time youll stay but I know the truth is hidden in that shelfish lie. I'll scare you away like always. So maybe it's better to leave before I get hurt

Special European Guitars

The laughter wans and grows quiet as i slide my breath over to you. You ask me to and i follow you. Like a dog upon a leash. Can you not see the shattering heart? When we hug and i pull away. off and on, not because thats who i am but because i am afraid. Youre like gravity i cant escape. A dragging force that keeps me down. When will i be able to let go? or maybe ill just drown...