Did you know when it began? That it would escalate? There's never a way of knowing but that yearning curiosity killed the cat and now i'm purring out of hope that i'll come back. That soft touch and gentle nudge. I gave you plenty of chances to leave that you never took, just reach out your hand and stay...or go. But this purgatory of budding romance leaves me breathless waiting in the torture. You had her. The whole time. But you came sidling up to me to try and tame the bull between the horns. Well. Are you happy now? You've tamed her. But now you've left me. Bloody and torn alone and waiting as you jump back into her. You made me fall but couldn't catch. The embarrassment was worst. As i fell i knew and still i jumped hoping for a safety net. I guess i was wrong but you never know. It's a good thing this bull is stronger then the rest. Because i'll be fine. but then again. it IS the honest you need to worry most about.
What is it about that emptiness? The one that pulls you back at midnight. The witching hour that steals away your heart and puts a curse on it betraying your true sense of self. This crushing weight that pulls me down is suffocating and convulsive. The happiness that comes into existence with the short flare of real life and love becomes overshadowed by the devouring loneliness that eclipses everything as soon as the light goes out. The ending of this paradoxical life has left me empty. Sure the beauty and laughter and friendship was great but you know what they say- the higher the climb the harder the fall. Guess i'll go home for a while and wait out the tide till the storm crosses over.
