Im hiding these tears behind closed doors. Unsure anymore of who i am, or want to be. Influences push and pull in every direction, and i am easily swayed. Changed. Manipulated. I yearn to be perfect again. To be firm in my beliefs, but when temptation strikes i am taken down again. Every time. And then i remember. How it was, how you were so proud, but now so wary. And so i feel torn. Guilty, for crimes i never even commited. Who i am is slipping away, falling like sand between fingers. The more i talk, the more i fall, this wall building higher each time its torn down. I want to be proud with who i am. All of it, the cracks, and tarnishes, but then i remember. Im not perfect anymore. How could i be proud? I look at you and wish i could be the way you are. So pristine, and happy. But im not. Will i ever be enough?
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